Ce face chinezu’ cand afara ploua, si el se plictiseste? Nu, nu vinde tenisi in Europa, se plimba prin parcuri si face ispravi. ‘auzi brâul.

(6 August 2008, Hong Kong) It’s raining. You’re lonely. Why not?

That was how 41-year-old Xian found himself face down on a bench, and calling for help in the middle of the night. The lonely man had noticed that the steel sit-up benches in LanTian Park had numerous ventilation holes, and thought it might be possible to use the enticing orifices for sexual gratification.

Once Xian became aroused, he found that he was stuck and could not remove his member from the hole in the bench. Quite understandably, he panicked. Police received a disturbing call from a man in trouble, and arrived to find poor Xian trapped face down on the bench.

Doctors were summoned to the scene. They tried to relieve the pressure by draining blood from the organ, but it was too swollen to budge. Emergency workers had to cut the entire bench free and take it, with Xian attached, to the hospital.

Four painful hours later, doctors finally separated Xian from his bench. If he had been stuck for even an hour longer, the lack of blood flow would have caused sufficient damage that doctors would have been forced to remove his phallus.

This is one bad date that Xian will never forget.